Control, Fear and Anxiety – How They Work Together
I often reflect on how situations we are unable to control can create fear, which can then lead to anxiety. There are so many things in life that we simply cannot control. We cannot always control our health, what people think of us, how other people drive on the road or how many projects we have at work.
When fear and anxiety about a lack of control take over, we can begin to find ways to try to control things. Sometimes these ways can make life harder, such as avoiding medical screenings, avoiding social occasions, taking sick days from work, or using alcohol or other substances.
When control and fear become connected
Control is not always a comfortable word. Excessive control can inhibit progress, minimise a survivor of family violence, reduce members of Clubs and increase anxiety.
At the same time, there are things we do want to have some control over, such as healthy eating, sleep, our budget, our workload and our mental health.
When fear becomes intertwined with control, anxiety can increase. People around us can be affected, and our overall quality of life can diminish. Having strategies to cope with anxiety can be helpful, but sometimes coping strategies are a Band-Aid rather than addressing the bigger picture.
What is your anxiety trying to tell you?
I see anxiety as a warning that something is not sitting well in your world. It can be helpful to ask yourself:
- What is my anxiety warning me about?
- Is this something I can control?
- If I cannot control it, what parts of the situation can I control?
- What am I afraid might happen if I cannot control it?
Fear is often connected to our life experiences. If I do not fully control a workplace project, I might fear it will go wrong. If I cannot control someone I love, I might fear they will leave me. If I cannot control what happens in a Club, I might fear others will make decisions I do not understand.
For some people, these thoughts can be unconscious and connected with experiences of blame, abandonment and shame.
Understanding where anxiety begins
Some of the biggest progress I have seen with clients has happened when we have gone deeper to understand their anxiety, its origins and the fear they are trying to control.
When this understanding starts to happen, clients can begin to move forward. In a sense, they have taken back that control because they understand where it all began.
As a Strengths-based therapist, I provide a safe, confidential and respectful space where you can explore these experiences at your own pace. My role is to listen to your goals, support you without judgement and help you develop strategies to move forward positively.
If you are experiencing fear and anxiety, you do not have to work through it alone. Whether you are seeking anxiety counselling in Wangaratta or online counselling across Australia, I am here to support you.